this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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