I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
