i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
