i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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