Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
