so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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