Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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