Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
