if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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