Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
