I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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