I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
