she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
