Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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