He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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