we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
