The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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