in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
