That's intense
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
