Ambien. No doubt about it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
