My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
