I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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