when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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