Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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