ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
