do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We left an ass print on the piano.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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