need another drink. this is the easiest way
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
