haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
