So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
