i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
