She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
