I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
