lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think I just sharted jello shots
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