What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
