His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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