just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
