we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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