forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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