I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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