He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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