eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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