she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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