I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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