That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
