Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
