ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
