Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
