it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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