Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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