1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
